Due to a recent conversation with a friend about my habit of using large and expressive words that most people would not employ in the context I choose to, and the previous post about my newfound infatuation with the listing of things, I decided to create a list (or, a minor dictionary) of all the brilliant things that leave my lips for all of you, my readers.
(All like, five of you, who, as my friends, have to HEAR me say these things as well).
Things I Can’t Stop Saying:
1. “Dag!” (like dang, minus the -n; used to express disdain and disappointment)
2. “That’s stellar!” (um, because who wants to use words like good and great and cool?)
3. “BEAUTIFUL!” (used in the context of celebration, of joy; not necessarily to describe an object, person, or situation with a physically beautiful quality)
4. “Burn a calorie, Morgan!” (I actually only said this once, because afterward I felt mean, but it made Morgan laugh)
5. “I HATE BREAD.” (or, more accurately, “I HATE PANERA BREAD!”)
6. “…so…” (used, quite awkwardly, as a crutch phrase at the end of an awkward sentence or to wrap up an awkward conversation that is going nowhere; usually not very effective and quite often followed by a long silence in which the other party waits for me to say something before realizing I have nothing to add and have chosen to end the conversation)
7. “awkward” (NOTE: used no less than three times in the last word description; most adequately used to describe the terms by which I live my life)
8. “I know, right?” (commonly used incorrectly by myself and nearly everyone I know; when chosen as a phrase expressing agreement–i.e., “You look hot.” “I know, right?”–the word “right” and the interrogative inflection following does NOT make sense and even asks the person to re-agree with what he or she has just stated to be fact)
9. “That’s amazing!” (because “that,” whatever it may be–i.e., the sky, a song, an exceptional chai latte–truly IS)
10. “I mean…” (serves as a witty bit of wordage to deliver a humorous line–i.e., “I mean, yeah, all the cool kids read this blog”–often also used with sarcasm)
11. “REALLY!?” (NOTE: the double punctuation of both the question and exclamation marks is completely necessary here; derived from the mouth of Matthew Perry’s character, Chandler Bing, on the 1994-2004 sitcom Friends; used to express either or all of the following: excitement, disbelief, disgust, annoyance, anger, surprise; NOTE: can also be stated with a declarative sort of voice to exude extreme sarcasm: “Really.”)
12. “KK” (means, OK, just minus the -o and double the -k; can also be used with short words such as good, cool, yeah, and yes)
YES.
Made it to twelve. My favorite number, aside from three.
But I mean, now I’m tiiiiiireeeed.
GoodNIGHT.
…Oh, and let me know if I need to add to my list, kk?
___
So, I forgot some:
13. “Guh-reat” (used primarily with sarcasm; may be emitted after a particularly ridiculous and annoying experience; can also be applied to other words beginning with -g–i.e., gross would be pronounced guh-rose)
14. “GEEZE!” (copied from my best friends James Berry and Morgan Moore; usually used to express surprise; always used with an exaggerated and slightly deep tone, which adds humor to the phrase)
